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It was difficult to remember how we once felt, when we thought we would conquer the world together. ‘I’ had been replaced with ‘we’ and now back to ‘I.’ Women were off my list, at least for the foreseeable future. I dated once during the separation, and it turned out badly. I had thought she knew I was in the middle of divorce. She had thought me unmarried in more than mind. ‘Hate’ was the word she used. It struck deep and scared me off the dating scene. It was an easy thing to forgo. I sucked. Your fingers slide my underwear aside and as you run your fingers over me you can feel how slippery and warm I am. Wet with anticipation and desire. The same slippery mess inside my underwear that would accumulate during each of our conversations.If there was any doubt how much I wanted this, all is gone in that moment. Oh fuck, you say with surprised and enthusiasm as your fingers slide between my lips.My thighs wrap around you and pull you closer to me as I begin to grind against your. That told me rather more than I wanted to know about the sex drive one of my closest friends; a woman my age who was currently involved in a scandalous affair with a Personal Trainer twenty years her junior.Prior to her affair, it would have been hard to imagine that china-doll-pretty mother being interested in anything as sordid as sex. Her well-publicised affair had abruptly changed all that and this news about her inability to take a week off fucking each month added powerful new images I. *So I'm dead, Yeah that sucks* I said to nobody in particular even though I am sure nobody would of even heard my words anywaysYes I did just sort of accept the fact that I no longer had a life, There was one little niggle that did bother me then and to this very day (even though it's only been a few of them) still does, The same question I keep asking myself over and over again *Why haven't I moved on*, Yeah so that is still something I would like to know but we will leave it for nowI guess.
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